One Year

I was going through my old blog posts and realized that it has been one year since Keith lost his job and our crazy journey began. This past year has been the hardest of my life.

After Keith lost his job, we went through a lot of highs and lows, but for the most part it felt like mostly lows. Regardless, we kept our eyes on God. We continued to tithe, and found ways to serve in the church.

In July, Satan attacked us and hit us real hard. Somehow Keith and I both allowed him enough room into our individual lives, that by July 31, Keith and I separated. And by separated, I mean we were living in separate homes and looking into visitation times for our girls.

Even though the separation was not fun, we now feel it was greatly needed. Keith dove much deeper into his relationship with God, and it got him super motivated to get a job, which God provided! Two weeks after leaving, I returned back to the house, and three weeks after that, on September 6, we renewed our wedding vows.

God has really showed us how He uses each situation for good. My marriage, with continued work, is better than it ever has been. Keith's job is helping to propel us into our next phase of preparing for the planting of Intersection Church. We have learned just how important it really is to tithe, no matter what, and trust that He is in control and will take care of you.

Refreshing

Tomorrow is finally the day...Keith and I are getting our first, very much needed, rest and relaxation and break from the kids. We will be gone two days. Two whole days to relax and soak in God's love for us.

Will you pray for us?

God, I just ask that you help us take advantage of this time. Allow our hearts to be broken and healed, allow our minds and body's to get the full amount of rest needed. Please just show us and remind us why you put us here. Show us the direction you want us to take and tasks you have for us. God, thank you for this opportunity. In Jesus' name, Amen

Caring

Some days, I just don't understand why God bothers with me. I know I screw up....often. So why would He waste His time? His time is very precious. There are others out there more deserving.

If the ones who raised me, never seemed to care much, why would He? I want to make things right before I see Him face to face, but if I don't get a chance...these are some of the questions I am going to ask Him.

Boxing Ring

I've been in this ring for what feels like an eternity. Sometimes I get within reaching distance of the ropes, but for some reason, I let my guard down, and get sucked back in.

I am determined now. I will NOT let him win. No, wait. This fight has already been won.

No more mind games. He will not trick me any more.

Wait. What is that sound? It's so strange. Could it be...cheering? People are cheering for ME? I have never felt like this before.

I feel energized and renewed. I am ready to fight, but this time....I have the advantage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It feels like I have lost this fight
They think that I am staying down
But I 'm not giving up tonight
Tonight the wall is coming down
I am stronger than my fears
This is the mountain that I climb
Got 100 steps to go
Tonight I'll make it 99...."

"I have everything to lose
By not getting up to fight
I might bet used to giving up
So I am showing up tonight
I am my own enemy
The battle fought within my mind
If I can over come step one
I can face the 99...."

Healings

MATTHEW 9:22: Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

God showed me this scripture a week ago and He hasn't let it slip my mind one day since. This woman had a blood disease for 12 years! But she had faith to be healed if she touched Jesus' hem. And because of her faith she was healed!!

I have felt like God has been trying to show me somewhere in my life where, if I have faith, I will be healed. I think I have been getting pretty good at trusting Him with our finances. It's been almost 9 months of living off of unemployment and faith that God will provide extra finances just so we can live. And by now, I must say, it's become pretty easy to ask God and give it all over to Him to provide. So, what area was he showing me now that I needed to have faith with. God has been showing me the past few days of where my faith needs to improve:

He has been opening my eyes up more and more to personal issues I have never resolved, just shoved further and further down. Things from my past that I have carried with me and these things are now effecting the relationship with my children and even relationships with others around me. This is becoming really scary for me. I am scared to see what He is going to show me, but I am extremely excited to get to the other side.

With this scripture and this line from a song from Fireflight: "Sometimes it's hard to just keep going, but faith is moving without knowing. Forget the fear it's just a crutch that tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust. All you need to do is just TRUST" I am ready, only with God's help, to defeat Satan. Satan will no longer be allowed to take a hold of any part of my life.

This Harvest Cry thing....

We could all pray for the best outcome, but after seeing only a portion of the outcome for Harvest Cry, only God knew that this was going to be more than just "another event".

I volunteered to help out in the Children Center wing most nights of the event. I was really excited when I signed up and then of course Satan had to try to creep in. But you know, I feel so blessed just to know that some of the parents dropping off their children have the peace of mind that their child is safe so they can focus on getting saved or taking that next step with Christ. It is so amazing.

When I have a chance I want to post about what God is showing me today, but today isn't quite over, so I'm going to wait on that. I'm sure after another crazy and awesome night at Harvest Cry, He just may have more to show me!

And one more thing....it is so awesome to be around such humbling people. People that know this isn't about us, it's about the unsaved. People willing to sacrifice everything they have for others to know Him. I have never seen anything like this before. I'm so glad that this even has NOTHING to do with us...it's not just some event thing...It's a cry for Jesus' people. And the awesome thing...is that His people are crying for Him!!!

So much Praise!

I feel like I do a pretty decent job at thanking God for what He has done in my life. Especially for the daily things, lately. But today was just the best.

I am so happy to announce that God provided us with side jobs so that we could pay our mortgage payment on time today which caught us back up! We are no longer on a payment schedule. This saves us $200 a month! Praise God!

We are one step towards getting back on track with our finances.

Even with Keith being out of work for 8 months, we continued to tithe faithfully, and devout more time to His Kingdom. We definitely know this is a reward/blessing.